Giving yourself permission to be enough

I have always considered myself lucky; I have a good family , home, my health, and career.  I look back on the speed bumps of life and realize that they slowed me down when I needed to slow down and I have always come out better for the opportunities they have presented.

I haven’t been feeling good lately.  I’ve been tired, and tense.  My yoga instructor pulled me aside after a class and asked me if I was ok.. that I seemed tense and my yoga flow was different.  That statement prompted me to take some quiet time to take stock of my emotional inventory.  I realized that I have been taking responsibility for other people’s happiness and well-being.  I have been giving energy to trying to make everything alright for everyone around me.  I am exhausted!

IMG_5547

How to recalibrate?  I decided to take a break.. see what’s going on with my mind and body.  I went outside and found a comfortable spot, one that was quiet and out-of-the-way; where I felt safe and relaxed.  I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing, scanning my body for how it was feeling. I believe your body will give you physical indicators if something is off.  I let go and focused on the present; finding my mind drifting to the past or future at moments I would gently allow myself to let go of those thoughts and focus on the present.. focus on breathing and the feel of the air on my skin.

Then I focused on noticing how my body felt.  I was holding my shoulders.. very tense.  My stomach was slightly upset .. like butterflies when you are nervous.   My body has been trying to tell me something.  I am finally ready to listen.

IMG_5548

I have been putting so much effort into trying to fix others I have not been taking care of myself.  And I realized that others didn’t want my help; and frankly I was not in a position to help them.  They had to do the work themselves, and all I needed to do was be there.  If they wanted me or needed me they could reach out.  This is hard for me because I am a fixer; but I am working to realize what has been going on hasn’t been working; so I need to let go.  That is hard, but it is enough for now.  I am enough for now.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: