People say funny things. The other day while driving by a river swollen from the recent rain storms my friend commented.. “Dang, there’s a lot of water in that river!” He looked a little surprised at my responding laughter but upon reflection got the joke and joined in.
After a night out on the town with a group of friends, we were trying to figure out who if any of us should drive home. One of the more loopy of the group stated quite seriously, “I’m pretty drunk but I think I can drive!” Needless to say we soon decided to leave the car and take Uber home.
A common response to a courteous “Excuse me” – is “Your fine.” I always wonder at this statement and think “Really? Am I? Geez I wish I felt fine!” Somedays when I am wallowing self absorbedly in concocted misery I will literally stop and ponder why someone saw the need to tell me I am fine; Good days I feel the need to say “Thank you for re-affirming that I am fine!” And there have been a few times when looking at the other person and seeing a something not quite right I feel the need to say – “Yes – I know – Are you?”
“Trust Me” puts me on high alert. If I was a dog my ears would perk. I have always believed and personal experience has proven that anytime someone says to trust them you show run for the hills because you are about to get taken for something. You might not figure out what they took but rest assured they are not trustworthy and you are going to get taken for something.
“I have found God” is a statement that seems funny to me. Really? You found him? Where?
“Let’s get together sometime” I think this might be the equivalent of Fek off, I don’t like you and I hope you dont hold me to that statement.
“Money doesn’t matter to me”.. this one gets me every time; and it is usually said in a situation that cost money to attend. Ok – put your “money” where your mouth is and live for a week or a month without spending money. BOOM. Please reconsider what you are trying to share if you feel the need to say that.
My personal fav.. when the alarm goes off in the morning saying “Five more minutes” STFU and get out of bed. You should have set your alarm for a different time.